A default ring tone is heard. 100 moms look at their purses.
‘if the bride and groom would now like to exchange their vows’ the priest says
‘a, e, i, o, u’ the bride whispers
FUN STORY: my grandma lives in a city that was currently taken over by drug dealers and gangs and it’s now divided in two and my grandma is the oNLY CITIZEN IN THE WHOLE CITY who can go walking freely through both sides of the town because she used to do community work and feed the poor kids and those gang members were all fed by her so they let her come and go as she wants SO WHAT WE LEARN TODAY IS TO BE FUCKING NICE TO KIDS BC U MIGHT BE DEALING W FUTURE GANG MEMBERS
"why am I not hot" I think to myself as I put two thousand calories of chocolate into my mouth